Love is All But an Illusion
by mistakesinmagic
Summary: Spencer Hastings has always been known for getting exactly what she wants. Boys, grades, even friends. But what happens when Spencer wants something she absolutely can't have? A girl, to be precise. Will she approach this task like she has all the others, by making sure she gets it? Or will Spencer have to give up and accept she can't have this, something she's never done before.
1. Lead Me On

**Hello, my lovely readers! I'm sure you've all expected this, since I can't seem to stop, but..I've started a new fic. Sparia this time, since I love Spencer and Aria together so much. The last episode of PLL was just SO MUCH SPARIA, and I couldn't keep this idea from my mind. I promise I will update my other fics soon, but for now, please enjoy the first chapter of this fic! :)**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Pretty Little Liars, or any of its characters, unfortunately. This fic starts after episode 3x09.**

_Spence. Spencer!_  
_  
__Mm, yes, baby?_

"Spencer, wake up!"

I wrenched my eyes open and Melissa's face swam into view, her coffee-colored eyes wide and concerned as she stared down at me. I squinted at her, my own eyes having trouble adjusting to the bright light streaming in from the hallway outside my room.

"What the hell are you doing? I murmured, running my hand through my surprisingly _damp _hair. "I was sleeping!"

"You were screaming is what you were doing. Very, very loudly." Melissa made a face, her long nose scrunching up like she smelled something horrible. "I thought you were having a nightmare, so I came in here to wake you up from it."

"A nightmare?" I asked drowsily, my voice dripping with grogginess. I frowned, and when I shifted slightly on my mattress, I became aware to the fact that my hand was down the boxer shorts I had worn to bed. Of course. "Y-Yeah, a nightmare. That's what it was."

"Okayyy. Well, you're obviously not being murdered, so...bye." Melissa rolled her eyes before twisting on her heel and sauntering out of my room, muttering something about a baby under her breath.

Groaning, I sat up in bed. The clock on my nightstand said it was 6:23am, and since I had to be up in seven minutes for school, what was even the point of going back to sleep? I pulled my hand out of my shorts and then used it to pull back my bedcovers. The sheets were completely drenched with my sweat, and therefore, so was my body. I definitely understood why they were called wet dreams.

"Damn you, Aria," I muttered as I climbed out of bed. My bare feet were sticky against my carpeted floor as I padded out into the hallway and then down to the bathroom. I couldn't believe it had happened again. It was even more embarrassing that Melissa had caught me this time.

Embarrassing, sure, but I couldn't seem to stop thinking about her. Everything reminded me of her - songs, books, even sounds reminded me of Aria. She was like a disease, a plague I couldn't get rid of. And the fact that she was now haunting my dreams made it all the more worse. I just couldn't get away from the girl I loved.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I stripped down my soaked clothes and tossed them into the hamper beside the sink before climbing into the shower and turning it on. The warm water was soothing against my slick skin, and as I leaned against the cool tiled wall, I once again let my thoughts drift to the literal object of my dreams, Aria Montgomery. This whole thing I had for her was seriously getting out of hand. She was my best friend, for God's sake! But, still, I couldn't ignore the way she made me feel. If she did as much as smile at me, an angry mob of butterflies swarmed in my stomach. I wanted to feel those beautiful smiling lips against my own. And, judging by the dream I had last night, I wanted those lips to be a lot of other places, too.

I mean, who wouldn't be dreaming about her? Aria was absolutely perfect, with her thick, dark hair, luscious pink lips and huge hazel Bambi-style eyes. She had a sweet, seductive voice, that I could just imagine turning into raspy growls if my wet dreams were ever to become wet reality. The fact that she was an incredible tease didn't help things, either. Just the other night, when I had invited Aria to come to the U Penn party with me, she had insisted on lying down on my bed while I was trying to pick out my outfit, and then touching me in what could be classified as a bit more than appropriate after I had joined her. It was like she _wanted_me to dream about having sex with her.

That's why it was such a shame I would never be able to have sex with her. Aria was 100%, completely straight, no matter how much she teased me. It was just in her nature to be a tease and seductress. So while I was completely and utterly in love with the girl, she would never love me back, and that left me with only the sweet but dirty fantasies that I couldn't keep away.

Forty-five minutes later, I was showered, dressed, and rushing down the stairs towards the kitchen. I grabbed a banana out of the bowl in the middle of the island and then yelled a goodbye to my Mom, who was sitting at the counter drinking coffee, before flying out the front door. I couldn't be late for school again. It had happened _twice _last week, all because of Aria. She had meddled her way into my thoughts, and disrupted my morning routine.

I sped down the front walk, across the driveway, and over to my silver Mercedes, only to open the door and be greeted by the surprise of my life. Aria was sitting perched in the driver's seat, grinning at me like I had just won the lottery and she was the prize. She sure looked as pretty as a present. Aria was decked out in a knee-length puffy red dress with a big black bow around the middle, and the black leather jacket she loved so much. She was wearing lacy black stockings, black stilettos, and a red headband with a silky red bow stuck on the side of it. Aria didn't look like she was going to school, she looked like she was going clubbing.

"Hey, Spence." Aria stepped out of my car, her heels clicking against the pavement of my driveway. She held her arms out model-smile, that adorable little giggle tittering out from between her lips. "Surprise!"

"H-How did you get in my car?" I stammered, saying the first thing I could think of. Well, actually the first _appropriate_thing I could think of. The first thing I would've liked to say would be, "Please fuck me against my car, Aria," but I don't think she would've appreciated that.

"You gave me a key, remember?" Aria dangled a set of keys held together by a black clip with a skull on it in front of my face. "When I needed to borrow your car last week to get to Ezra's? His mom is a nutcase, Spencer. She said that she's going to check the security tapes while she's here to make sure I'm not coming to Ezra's apartment! I had to borrow your car so she didn't recognize mine."

"Yeah, yeah, I remember," I muttered, shaking my head and tossing my purse and backpack into the car. Biting my lip in confusion, I glanced around for Aria's car. But her petite black car was nowhere in sight; it wasn't parked on the side of the street like it usually was. "How'd you get here? I don't see your car."

"Oh, my mom dropped me off!" Aria chirped, leaning against the side of my Mercedes. "On her way to work. I told her I wanted to ride with you today."

"Y-You wanted to ride with m-me?" Talk about leading me on.

"Yup!" Aria beamed, her shiny white teeth glinting in the sunlight between her lip gloss-slathered lips. "Now, get in loser, we're going to school."

I rolled my eyes, trying to hide my smile as I pushed past Aria and crawled into the driver's seat. Aria was so cute, quoting lines from _Mean Girls_, a movie we both loved. The tiny brunette skipped around to the other side of my car, pulled open the passenger's side door, and hopped into my car. I started the car and then made sure both of our seatbelts were buckled before backing out of my driveway and into the street.

"So, um, we need to talk." Aria set her arm down on the cup-holders between the seats, dangerously close to where mine was resting.

"Talk?" I whimpered, grabbing my favorite pair of Prada sunglasses out of my purse and setting them on my head. I continued to stare out the windshield as I drove, refusing to look at Aria for fear that she was upset. Looking at an upset Aria was like looking at an upset puppy. "About what?"

"Last night," Aria said softly, drumming her fingers against the cup-holders. The tip of her pointer finger brushed against my palm, and I couldn't help but shiver. Aria's fingers were so warm. "How I left you at that party. I'm so sorry about that, Spence. I just...the whole relation to Maya and Holden and the party freaked me out a bit. And I was having Ezra troubles that needed to be taken care of immediately. I totally forgot about the other half of Sparia until after I had left Ezra's, and by then Cece had already taken you home."

Heat rushed into my cheeks. Aria had called me "the other half of Sparia". She was basically calling me her other half! "U-Uh," I groaned, immediately wishing Aria's fingers were in her lap instead of resting on my forearm. I could barely think when she was touching me, let along talk. "It's fine, Ar. I totally understand that you were having...Ezra issues. It would've been nice if you would've told me you were leaving, though. I was worried about you."

"You were worried about me?" I snuck a quick peek at Aria, and she was smiling, her gorgeous brown eyes lit up like shiny minerals. "Aw, Spence, you shouldn't have been worried! I was fine. I think the only problem I had was missing you."

"Y-You missed me?" I all but squawked, trying to avoid from making an abrupt right turn into my neighbor's hedge.

"Of course!" Aria giggled, taking my hand in hers and squeezing it tight. It took every fiber of my being not to blow up right then and there. "The party wasn't all that fun, especially since Noel and Little Miss Blind-No-More showed up, but it made it a lot better that you were there. Everything's better when you're there, Spence."

I didn't know what to say. My only solution to avoiding pouring my heart out to Aria right then and there was to clamp my mouth shut, and focus on driving. Aria's fingers were still firmly grasped around my hand. If only she knew that one simple action made me feel like my whole body was on fire.

"You okay?" Aria asked timidly, almost as if she was afraid that what she'd just said had hurt my feelings. "You seem tense. Then again, you're always tense..."

"I'm peachy," I muttered, feeling my skin tense up even more. If peachy meant seconds from pulling the car over to the side of the road and yanking Aria into the backseat, then peachy was exactly what I was.

"You don't seem it." Aria wedged her fingers into my palm and began to massage the skin there, pushing the pad of her thumb into my flesh. "Here, let me give you a little massage."

I tried to protest, but all that came out of my mouth was a throaty groan as Aria's fingers continued their attack on my hand. By the time we pulled into the school parking lot, my whole left arm was completely loose and relieved. If only I could say the same for my abdomen, which was tight and flooded with heat.

I pulled into a parking space and shut of the car, breathing out a heavy sigh as Aria finally let go of my hand. I pulled the keys out of the ignition and then jammed them into my purse. After unbuckling my seatbelt, I reached into the backseat and grabbed both Aria and I's backpacks, which I had chucked back there after getting into the car. I swung open the driver's side door and stepped out of my car, only to see Emily pulling up next to me. Hanna was parked too spaces down, her hot pink heels making a loud clicking noise as she hopped down from the driver's seat.

"Hey, guys!" Emily smiled as she pushed open her car's door and stepped out. She was wearing the red and white flannel shirt I had seen Hanna taking a sneak peek at more than once. Aria appeared from around the front of my car, backpack slung over her shoulder, and Emily shot me a knowing smile. I had to resist the urge to whack her with my purse. Emily had known I was in love with Spencer ever since we had gotten drunk together a couple nights ago. Em had been drinking to try and get over Maya's death, and I had somehow ended up guzzling alcohol as well, and then admitting my biggest secret to one of my best friends.

"Hi!" Aria cheeped, her sickly-sweet voice making me weak at the knees. "Em, your shirt looks really cute! I like it."

"Thanks." Emily smirked, popping the collar of her shirt as if for emphasis. "Paige likes it, too."

I'm pretty sure I was the only one who noticed it, but Hanna rolled her eyes as she strutted over to us, flipping her blonde hair back. We were all happy for Em; Paige was the one to finally make her happy, but we could never forgive her for how mean she had been to our poor little Emily. And Hanna looked the most unhappy about their newfound relationship out of all of us.

"It looks adorable," Hanna drawled, setting a hand on Emily's shoulder and smiling her award-winning grin at her. "I really like it, Em."

Emily blushed light pink, and opened her mouth to reply, when Aria cut her off.

"Come on, guys, let's go. We don't want to be late for class."

We all nodded and murmured in agreement before following Aria into the school. She held the door open for all three of us, but when she let me in last, I couldn't help but notice the way she winked at me and then pushed on my back to urge me into the building, her hand hovering just above one of the places I was aching to be touched.


	2. Hunches

**Happy first of December, everyone! I've had this done for a while, but I'm just now getting the chance to uploaded, since I haven't had a computer for some time. But here I am, with the latest chapter of Love Is All But An Illusion! I hope you all enjoy it, please please review! That's what keeps me writing. So if you want updates faster, I'm begging you. Reviewwwww. Anyways, I'm sorry this one is a little short, but I hope you like it anyway. :D **

_Spencer. Psst, Spencer._

Hanna had been poking me in the shoulder with the tip of her pencil for ten minutes now, and she was beyond getting on my nerves. We were in Physics class, and our teacher, Mrs. Maxwell, was trying to explain to us why airplanes were able to stay in the air. We were supposed to be writing it all down on a worksheet she had handed out at the beginning of class.

"What?" I finally hissed, refusing to turn my head as I scribbled away on my paper. "Hanna, what do you need?"

"What's the answer to number twelve?" my friend whispered back. "She's talking too fast, I didn't hear it."

I looked down at my paper, and that's when I realized I wasn't even doing the work. Instead of answering the questions, I had been doodling Aria's name repeatedly in the margins. And I hadn't even realized it!

"Spencer!" Hanna scolded, jabbing me in the forearm with her pencil tip again. "What's the answer?"

"Uh, lift," I answered distractedly after I had glanced down at my sheet again. Even though I wasn't paying attention, I knew the answer. I had taken a general science class over the summer, and Physics had been part of it. Besides, I had taken basic Physics years ago, back in elementary school.

"Thanks so much," Hanna mumbled, and I could hear her pencil tip scratching against her paper as she wrote the answer down.

Mrs. Maxwell finished going over the worksheet and then she turned to face the class, clapping her hands together to get our attention.

"Alright, class!" she announced loudly, her pointy violet glasses slipping slightly down her long nose. "Mr. Rex's Chemistry class will be over here any second. Each of you will be paired with someone from their class, and we're going to work on a project where we'll build aircrafts and try to power them with chemicals. We'll have a competition to see which team's creation flies the farthest."

My pulse skyrocketed, and I could literally feel my heart beating inside of my chest. Aria was in Mr. Rex's class! Maybe we'd even get to work on the project together!

Just then, there was a knock on the classroom door. Mrs. Maxwell went over and opened it, and Mr. Rex's class filed into the room. My stomach leapt up into my throat when I saw Aria's small frame huddled in the back of the group. She still looked tiny and mousy, even with her flashy red dress and bow.

She saw me right after I saw her, and came rushing over to my desk, her maroon-colored, lipstick-covered lips spread into an eager grin.

"Hi!" she squeaked, plopping down in the empty seat beside me.

"Hey," I greeted her back, quickly stuffing the paper that had her name written all over it into my folder. I could feel myself smiling brightly.

'I'm so happy our classes are getting to work together!" she chirped, crossing her short legs over one another. "Rex almost put us with one of the other Physics classes. I would've _died_."

"Oh, please," I giggled, twirling the end of my braid around my pointer finger. "You sound like Hanna."

Aria rolled her large hazel eyes, laughing lightly. "I do not!" She turned in her chair, gesturing towards the back of the room, where Hanna sat. "Speaking of Han, look at her and Emily. There's definitely something going on between those two. I don't know what it is, but I'm going to find out."

She was right, something _was _going on between our friends. Hanna and Emily were squeezed together in the same chair since there weren't any empty desks around Hanna's. Hanna had her hand cupped around Emily's ear, and I could see her giggling as she whispered to the other girl.

I opened my mouth to respond to Aria, but then Mrs. Maxwell spoke up again.

"Quiet down, quiet down," she cooed in an attempt to soothe the group of rowdy teenagers. "Mr. Rex and I have decided who will be paired with whom. Please don't pair up until we have finished calling out names."

She gestured to the shorter, fire-haired Mr. Rex, who was sitting on the edge of her desk. He raised the sheet of paper in his hands and began listing names.

"Noel and Tyler, Maggie and Paige, Spencer and Aria…"

Her voice was completely muffled after I heard Aria and I's names. We were together! I turned to her, and she was grinning as widely as I was sure I was. Moments later, I heard Hanna's cheer of, "YES!" from behind me, and I knew that she and Emily had been put together.

"This is so great!" Aria was leaning close to me, and I could smell her flowery perfume. It was making me incredibly dizzy. "We never get to work together."

I nodded, for it was true. Aria and I had been best friends since we were first graders, and our teachers knew not to put us together by now. But for some reason, they had paired us up for this project, and I was more than thankful.

"We should make some kind of complex fighter jet," Aria suggested, already scribbling designs down on her paper. "Or a really cool helicopter."

"Whoa, slow down there, Da Vinci." From what I could see of her paper, I could make out the nose of a plane and maybe half of a wing. "We need to create something that will stay in the air, it doesn't necessarily have to be gorgeous."

"But it'd be so much cooler!" Aria insisted, still drawing. "And if I get an actual picture down, we can add the dimensions and everything."

"Alright," I agreed, digging through my plain purple pencil case to try to find a sharpened pencil. "We can do that. Good idea, Ar."

She beamed, and her wide hazel eyes and the little dimples in her cheeks were probably the cutest things I'd ever seen. I just wanted to lean over and kiss her right then and there. I'm pretty sure she'd run away screaming, though, so I stayed put, shooting her what I hoped was a calm, gentle, smile. My stomach was a different story, however. It was all tied up in complicated knots.

An hour and a half later, Aria and I were at my house. We had decided to have Aria come over, so we could work on the project and hang out for a bit. We were both laying on my bed, Aria splayed across the end of the bed, and me lying up against the headboard. I had my Physics textbook on my lap and Aria was looking over my notes from earlier.

"Geez, your notes are so neat!" Aria exclaimed, turning her head to look up at me. Butterflies swam in my stomach immediately, Aria's mere gaze enchanting me. "These could be a work of art, Spence."

I rolled my eyes, flipping to the page in my book on friction. "They're not all that special. I just like to be able to see what I'm writing. Unlike a certain _someone_, whose handwriting is chicken scratch."

"Hey, my handwriting is fine!" Aria stuck her tongue out at me, giggling lightheartedly. "At least it's not like Hanna's, with hearts on top of all her I's."

I laughed, shifting my position on the bed so I could cross my legs. "Yeah, I guess not. She writes in a bunch of different colors, too. It's blinding, almost."

Aria nodded in agreement, uncrossing and then re-crossing her black stocking-covered legs. "Not almost," she chuckled, combing her fingers through her messy dark brown hair. "It _is _blinding." She smirked at me, and I could feel my cheeks flush. "Not that Emily seems to mind, though. I think she likes the way Hanna writes! I even caught her dotting her I's with hearts the other day."

I couldn't help but snicker. Like we had talked about earlier that day, Aria and I both knew something was going on between Hanna and Emily, and while we had a pretty big idea of what it was, we couldn't exactly pinpoint it.

"I think we just have to catch them in the act," Aria said suddenly, as if she was reading my mind. She set my notes down on the mattress and sat up so she could move a little closer to me. "Whatever they're up to, we need to catch them doing it."

"But what if they're not doing anything?" I asked, drumming my fingers against the edge of my textbook's cover. "I think there's something going on between them, but even they don't know what it is."

Aria chewed on her bottom lip, contemplating what I had said. "Maybe you're right," she murmured, twirling a piece of hair around her pointer finger in a way that made my stomach feel like it was bursting into flames. "But what could be going on?"

I opened my mouth to answer, when Aria cut me off and blurted out, "Maybe they like each other!" Her hazel eyes were wide, and her pink lips were opened into a tiny O.

I considered it for a second, before wrinkling my nose and shaking my head. "Nah, that can't be. Hanna's not gay. That's Em, remember?"

Aria giggled and shifted on the bed so she could fold her legs up under herself. "Of course I remember, Spence. But you never know, she could be into girls and keeping it from us."

Talk about the story of my life. Except I was the one in Hanna's position, and I was crushing on Aria big-time. I shrugged, hoping Aria couldn't see how uncomfortable I was. "Maybe. I doubt it, though."

Aria blew a lock of loose hair out of her eyes. "I don't know, I kind of have a hunch. And you know we all have secrets. When Ali said we share secrets, I don't think she knew what she was talking about. Our secrets are what our friendship is all about sometimes."

My phone let out a beep, and I pulled it out of my pocket, my stomach dropping as I read the text that had just come in. On the tiny screen were the words, "She's kind of right, what I said was wrong. But I knew EXACTLY what I was talking about when I said it's the secrets that keep us close. And if you don't tell her yours, I'll do it for you. –A"


End file.
